Puritan Ethic, Latent Guilt and Sleeping with the Laptop

      Not every day is as bright and shining as yesterday was. I tell you this to show you I’m human and I’m not Pollyanna. Often my temperament seems to follow the weather. Today was one of those windy, partly cloudy, fall days - a moody day that can’t make up its mind. At times the sun burned through the clouds and made you think it was actually going to get warm. Then a few minutes later it was dark and grey.
I always think of an old Joni Mitchell song at this time of year:

I get the urge for going
When the meadow grass is turning brown
Summertime is falling down and winter’s closing in.

      Yes, I’ve got the urge for going and in three weeks I’ll be gone. I must be suffering from departure anxiety. I awoke this morning to an intense dream.  I had just arrived in Costa Rica, got a place to stay for the night and settled in. Early the next morning, I awoke to find the front door wide open and everything gone - my clothes, my credit card, passport and  - God Forbid - my laptop. My wonderful, marvelous MacIntosh that I rely on for sustenance, was gone. And with it all, the information I use to keep my life going; my connection to my friends, my web site, my writing - all gone. I should have kept it in my bed with me. I was devastated. Someone asked, was I going to go back to the States now and I said no. I would work it out somehow but I was extremely upset. Nevertheless, there is a happy ending. I woke up! When I realized that it was just a bad dream I was so happy that I felt fantastic. I really felt good,  relieved not having to live through that. I'm telling you, waking up felt so good it was worth having the bad dream. I felt all warm and fuzzy, happy. It was great.
       Before my move to Costa Rica, I spent seven months preparing. Part of that, the fun part, was going through my clothes and picking out only the ones best suited for the climate and my lifestyle. I also bought some more, really nice things. I was so happy with my clothes. I just loved them. Oh, don’t get me wrong here, I’m not clothes obsessed, not at all. But the thought did go through my mind that maybe I loved them a bit too much. A big part of my move to Costa Rica involved the trimming down of all my material possessions. I think, in the back of my mind I may have felt a slight bit guilty for my indulgence in my clothes.
      Then, a month into my new life in Costa Rica, all my clothes were stolen. All of them, except what I had on. It happened during the night, just like in the dream. For the detailed story, you’ll have to get my book. It is too long to recount here. Suffice it to say that it was a terrible experience. But I learned from it. I discovered the Ropa Americana stores. And when I got back to Whitefish the next summer all my friends pitched in to give me their hand-me-downs. Now I when I wear that pretty red shirt I think of Jayme and the green one that keeps me warm, reminds me of Sarina. All in all, it turned out to be an experience that made me grow stronger and more confident. But I don’t need another lesson like that - not with my computer.
      So what does this have to do with the power of intention? Maybe my attachment to my clothes caused the whole thing to happen. Maybe my latent guilt for collecting, carefully washing, folding, caring for and even buying a special travel iron for my clothes, got the best of me. God, where did this ingrained, Puritan ethic come from?  I am a liberated, free spirited hippie girl. Well....whatever... as long as I don’t lose my laptop.
      I remind myself that, although it is a bit worse for wear, due to the Caribbean climate and lifestyle, I’ve hung on to my computer for two years in Costa Rica. I wouldn’t have it today if it weren’t for the security trunk I had custom made for my car. That saved me several times. (It’s in the book.) I’ve kept the my Mac for two years so surely I can hang on to it for a few years longer. But I maybe I’ll sleep with it in Costa Rica.

Running total: Still at $977.44 closer to my goal of $5000.00